Up and down

Took the kids shopping in the city today. I don't work Fridays, so it was a good opportunity to do some birthday shopping, with the help of my Dad (Grandad).

Costco was the first stop - how bloody good is Costco?! Nappies, wine, pizza... All the necessities as far as I'm concerned, in bulk, and cheap.

Then a kids indoor play centre - how bloody good are those too? Happy kids, coffee, fences.... Heaven. I saw an old friend there with her 2yo. She was about to go back to work full-time. Funny how hearing other people do it makes it sound acceptable to me. After everything I've been through, I think at some level I still seek people's approval for my own life choices. It's ok if other people are doing it, right? I need to grow some balls....

On to the shopping centre where I gave my bank account a work-out for the kids, yet couldn't justify spending a dollar on myself.

I'll get a little heavy here. I was diagnosed with depression 3 weeks ago. A combination of things, mainly  the recent separation of my parents (married for 30 years). GP prescribed antidepressants, but refused because I'm breastfeeding. Seeing a psychologist next week so hopefully that's helpful.

The reason I brought that up is that that's the first shopping trip I've been on where I haven't had to hide all the bags from my husband. I didn't buy myself one single thing, when normally I'm a shopping fiend. This definitely shows some emotional change in me. I want to change back. My bank account doesn't. 

Anyway, back to the homestead where I found a tired and cranky husband looking for a argument. Don't get me wrong, he's an amazing man and we've been together and in love for 10 years now. But he has a temper, and there are arguments. Nothing physical, but it still hurts.

So hubby's in bed with the shits, kids are exhausted and sleeping peacefully, and I'm watching Harry Potter with a rum and coke.

Such is life. 

Peace, my friends.